Contrary to what one might believe, Mr. Vyacheslav Molotov–That Old Bolshy Soviet politician, protégé of Joe Stalin–was *not* the creator of the Molotov cocktail. However, like any truly great cocktail, it was in fact christened in his honour (by the not-so-amused Finnish army). Did he deserve such a distinction? Lenin called him “Iron-arsed.” Trotsky called him “mediocrity personified.” The American journalist John Gunther proclaimed “Molotov has a fine forehead.” We here at the Molotov Cocktail Hour are hardly ones to judge (or even keep up with) political events and machinations, so we say, heck yeah! And, much like Mr. Molotov, we are okay with being known as mediocrity personified, as long as our forehead is fine. I could tell you the etymology of the recipe for the “real” cocktail–actually an improvised incendiary device–but that is what other corners of the internet are for. However, because people like to drink things called cocktails, someone actually created a (barely) quaffable elixir christened one and the same. Here is the recipe for it:

• 1 jigger (1.5 oz) of Russian vodka (To be a little more historically accurate about it, I suggest Finnish vodka)
• splash of overproof (151-proof) rum
• a match

Pour vodka into shot glass. Float rum on top. Set alight, blow out (IMPORTANT), shoot down. That’s about it. Tallulah is quite fond of vodka. And fire. Probably why Tallulah lives 3500 miles away from any form of civilization, in a quonset hut, with nay more than stash of emergency MREs c. 1984,, and dedicated broadband.